What Happened with the Human Touch?
Sometimes language cannot make it really clear what we are trying to express. Let us use “love” for our il****ration. Love may be felt for your spouse, your baby, your work, your morning tea, your favorite shotgun, your heavenly father, or your country.
Obviously loving your daughter is a very different feeling from loving your football team. Love for your husband has little to do with love for your new hair style. The word “love” is used in all cases, but the meaning depends on what the object of the love is. Love without context does not have a unique meaning.
Now let’s examine “touch”. You touch the touchpad of your notebook. This kind of touch is mechanical without any emotional component. You can touch someone’s body. That might be anything from friendly to sensual to ***ual to painful to lethal depending on the kind of touch.
A bodyworker can work on you with a clinical touch. Truly skilled and gifted therapists can touch you in a way that feels heavenly. Certain events in our life can touch us deeply.
One word, but several meanings. Touch can be mechanical, sensual, loving, aggressive – without knowing the cir***stances, touch has no clear meaning of its own. Our intentions give “touch” its meaning. When we touch objects, our intentions are clear. But when we touch people, it is often not so easy and clear.
When you touch a cat or a dog, they just roll over and enjoy it. It is not an issue for them if you are a man or a woman. They don’t have any mental process that keeps them from enjoying it, and neither do babies or young children. They love being touched and cuddled. They also naturally touch one another without any reservation.
Some time ago a research study was published how touch affects new born babies. One group of babies was held and touched all the time, and the second group was deprived of all touch. The results were dramatic. The touch deprived babies were rapidly losing their vital symptoms and the study had to be ended quickly for fear of any babies dying.
So there is no doubt that babies and children love to be touched and need to be touched. However at some point things change and suddenly a loving touch is not considered enjoyable anymore, but rather becomes embarr***ing and awkward. Why and when do the rules change for touching? Clearly the children learn it from the adults, it is part of their ‘education’.
In the realm of adults we have to contend with issues like religious beliefs, cultural taboos, insecurity and fear, and mental projections. If a man hugs another man, it could be a friendly back-slapping affair. But it can also make someone feel uncomfortable if he ***ociates hugs between men with *******uality.
If a man hugs a woman, it could be an enjoyable connection or it could be seen as an unwanted come-on. Unlike children, when adults hug, the world of the mind comes into play. Different cultures have their respective touching rules. It is normal for Arab men to exchange kisses on the cheek as a greeting, but European or American men would be shocked if another man tried to kiss them. In one country hugging is normal, in another it is totally inappropriate.
Physical touch among adults is truly a “touchy” subject. Naturally humans love to be touched, but often they shy away from the experience because of cultural or religious rules, ***** by mal-intentioned people, insecurity, or even legal issues. M***age therapy can be the perfect way to byp*** all those cultural, moral or religious limitations and enjoy touch for what it can be – a deeply relaxing, healing and wonderfully pleasant experience.
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.